


Would You Love Me The Same?

by LostInTheStanning



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Assumed one sided pining, Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Hyunwoo is dumb, Jealousy, Kihyun is brave, M/M, One Shot, Rejection, Showki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26574565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInTheStanning/pseuds/LostInTheStanning
Summary: Kihyun bit the bullet and confessed to his best friend Son Hyunwoo. He was kindly rejected. Which sucked but he was determined to get over it. Hyunwoo however slowly realized he actually feels the same. Now he has to figure out his next step. Will the fear of ruining everything cause Hyunwoo to literally ruin everything?
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 125





	Would You Love Me The Same?

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse.

You know what sucks? Rejection. 

Even if handled as gently or gracefully as possible it still sucks. No one is immune to it because in some regards it’s a natural part of life. To delve deeper you must consider it from a social standpoint; not every crush is reciprocated. You just have to hope for the best in love. 

Yoo Kihyun knows rejection. It’s happened before and he did survive. Only this time the rejection hurt more than his 8th grade crush did. You see Kihyun has been pining after his close friend for a little over a year. His name is Son Hyunwoo. They’d only recently began attending the same university and it just grew from there. Kihyun had tried desperately to ignore it but it was in his face everyday. His best friend Lee Minhyuk convinced him that even if it went bad he would never lose all their mutual friends. Because Hyunwoo and Kihyun shared a very close, very small circle of friends. And Kihyun had thought he read all the signs right. He was confident Hyunwoo liked him back. So he had planned to confess before a short break from school. 

It didn’t go well. 

Sure Hyunwoo wasn’t cruel, he never would be. He was apologetic and let Kihyun down gently. There was no malicious or snarky replies. It was clean and simple. They promised to stay friends while keeping it a secret between them. As if Minhyuk didn’t already know. But at least Future Kihyun wouldn’t have to hang around Hyunwoo for at least two weeks during school break. He texted him every now and again like usual but the distancing helped. So what if Kihyun cried a few days? Minhyuk helped him put his grown up pants on so he could deal with it. 

Once back at school Kihyun had dyed his hair a tangerine color to change things up. He felt refreshed even if his heart ached a bit. This was okay. Kihyun was going to be okay. 

—————————————————————

Hyunwoo scowled at the sunlight. He scowled a lot lately. When had he grown so grumpy? The pounding headache from his hangover didn’t help. Normally he could ignore these things; especially when he woke up from an enjoyable one night stand. Hyunwoo usually had more flings than not. He was busy with the school dance team anyways and it was fun. He felt zero shame about it truly. Lately however he had an itch he couldn’t scratch. A weird unfulfilled hole in his life. It was strange honestly. The weird nagging somewhere deep in his subconscious. Even when he went out clubbing with his friends, getting drunk and having fun like they always did. It was fun dammit. But now it was just not? He was annoyed at that too. 

He scowled once more at the sunlight before strolling in to a cafe. He was meeting Hoseok and Hyungwon to go over some choreography notes for tonight. Ordering an iced americano he sat by the window to think. Aside from his hangover he was healthy. What was he missing anyways? He had great friends, good grades, and he enjoyed dancing like breathing. Hyunwoo furrowed his brows in thought. Before their school break he’d been fine. Nothing was amiss. Okay except for one of his best friends confessing to him. He cared about all his friends but it was no secret he was closest to Kihyun. That’s how it’s always been. 

And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t petrified at the confession. He was so confused! So many emotions and fears at once. The great unknown about pursuing a relationship with such a close friend was too much to bear. He’d turned him down. It had been the right thing to do..right? He tapped his fingers on the tabletop. Kihyun had definitely spoke less to him after that but he had still seemed pleasant. They were still friends it was totally fine. His eyes caught sight of two familiar figures heading towards the cafe doors. A tall, model with pink hair named Hyungwon was holding hands with a grinning, muscular male named Hoseok. They were made for each other. That relationship made sense. 

The bitter feeling at the sight of their happiness surprised Hyunwoo but he just shoved it down. The two smiling males approached the table with their own drinks as they greeted Hyunwoo. “How was your break?” Hoseok asked while pulling a chair out for his tall boyfriend before sitting himself down. “Not bad, practiced a lot.” Hyunwoo said with a smile. Hyungwon hummed at him, “Hey did you end up going out with Mark and Jinyoung?” He asked curiously, “Hoseokkie and I were going to go but we got distracted.” The two males knowingly side eyed each other. “Yeah it was fun.” Hyunwoo lied through his teeth. He saw Hoseok study him before finally nodding. “Oh! Ki is bringing the notes to me” Hyungwon suddenly said apologetically, “Forgot them in our dorm room.” 

Hyunwoo felt a weird elated feeling. He hadn’t seen Kihyun for almost three weeks now. It made sense to be happy I mean they were friends. Hyunwoo leaned casually in his chair while his two friends chatted on about stuff. It wasn’t until Hyungwon perked up that he sat a little straighter. “There’s the Hamster.” Hyungwon said in fake annoyance while Hoseok laughed. “He dyed his hair!” The laugh Hoseok was doing was cut short when he noticed Kihyun’s new hair color. All three of them watched as an orange haired Kihyun came huffing through the cafe doors followed by a white haired Minhyuk. The orange was cute on him. Hyunwoo would admit that much. The two males came to their table with Minhyuk claiming a seat while Kihyun sat the notes on table now.

“Sorry for being late.” Kihyun said breathlessly at the three of them while smiling. Hyunwoo’s throat was dry so he just nodded at him with a grin. “Kihyunnie is abandoning me!” Minhyuk suddenly whined as the orange haired male rolled his eyes. At Hoseok’s questioning look Kihyun sighed loudly, “I have to meet up with Jackson in like five minutes so I have to go.” He glanced at his wristwatch now while Minhyuk whined again. Hyunwoo didn’t get a chance to ask what he was going to do with Jackson before Kihyun was gone again. It felt like whiplash.

“Jackson?” Hyungwon said curiously at Minhyuk who was hugging Hyunwoo’s bicep. “Yes! They’re going on a date.” Minhyuk said with a huff and Hyunwoo choked on his drink. He coughed loudly as he smacked at his own chest. Hoseok had the decency to hand him some napkins. “Really? When the hell did that happen?” Hyungwon leaned forward eagerly for gossip as Minhyuk grinned like a cat. “Jackson asked Ki to a movie over break and I guess it went well? Either way they’re hanging out tonight.” Minhyuk spoke wistfully as he stole a sip of Hyunwoo’s americano. “With Jackson?” Hyunwoo managed to force words out of his angry throat. Minhyuk’s eyebrow raised at his tone. “He’s had a crush on Ki for awhile now.” Hoseok supplied helpfully. It was not helpful for Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo knew that. He’d noticed it immediately. It had never bothered him until now. Why the fuck did it bother him? He scratched at the tabletop trying to make sense of his own thoughts. “Hyunwoo?” His eyes shot up to meet Hoseok’s concerned ones, “Are you listening?” His friend indicated at the notes and Hyunwoo nodded. A lie but whatever. They ran through the choreography and even when they were in the studio Kihyun was still plaguing his thoughts. The rest of the team was exhausted but chatting happily as Hyunwoo sat on the floor sweating. He gulped from his water bottle and frowned. Exhausted muscles couldn’t get his brain to give him peace. Was Kihyun really on a date? When had he dyed his hair? He’d always asked Hyunwoo’s opinions on colors why hadn’t he asked? 

He grumbled to himself as an equally sweaty Hoseok plopped down beside him. “Are you okay?” Hoseok asked him quietly and he sighed. “I’m fine really I’m just distracted I guess.” He ran a hand through his sweaty hair and grimaced. “Did something happen?” Hoseok asked after a small pause with a worried look on his features. Hyunwoo contemplated. He watched Hoseok drinking out of his water bottle and blurted out what he’d promised to keep secret, “Kihyun confessed to me.” That was all it took for him to be covered in a spray of water courtesy of a very shocked Hoseok. 

—————————————————————

After apologizing twenty times Hoseok and Hyunwoo had gone back to their dorm room to clean up. Hyunwoo was currently showering in their tiny shower stall while Hoseok brushed his teeth at the sink. Everything was calm and peaceful until Hoseok suddenly had a thought. “Wait if Ki confessed to you why is he on a date with Jackson?” Hoseok yelled the question loud enough for Hyunwoo to hear him over the water. There was an awkward silence now. He knew Hoseok wouldn’t leave until he answered. “Because I-well I guess I...rejected him?” Why did he say it like a question. He knew what he did. But he didn’t understand why Hoseok didn’t already assume he’d rejected him I mean it made sense right?! 

The shower door flying open scared the crap out of him. He yelped and covered his crotch immediately. Hoseok stood there looking at him with wide eyes. “What?! Why?!” His friend looked absolutely confused and upset about the whole thing. Hyunwoo opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to think of something to placate his friend. “Be-because we aren’t-..I don’t..have feelings for him.” Hyunwoo stumbled out a response finally because he knew Hoseok wouldn’t go away until he did. It was silent as his muscular friend seemed to process what he said. He squinted at Hyunwoo who stood there awkwardly waiting for him to say something. “Are you crazy?” Hoseok finally spoke and Hyunwoo made an offended noise. “What? No I mean-“ Hyunwoo tried to explain but Hoseok held up a hand to silence him. 

His friend moved over to the door and opened it slightly, “Wonnie!” He yelled out. Hyunwoo blinked dumbly at him. Wonnie? On cue the tall, pink haired male came in to the bathroom holding a bag of chips. “When did he get here?!” Hyunwoo asked in confusion. Hoseok ignored that and looked at Hyungwon seriously. “Babe I need to ask you something very serious okay?” Hoseok was acting like it was life or death while Hyunwoo was still trying to cover his crotch. “Not in to threesomes.” Hyungwon replied almost drowsily as he continued to munch on chips. Hyunwoo watched Hoseok go through a ton of emotions, “Wha-what?!? There’s no threesomes! What are you saying I-“ Hyungwon glanced at Hoseok during his tirade and that seems to help him recover. 

“No! It’s about Kihyun and Hyunwoo!” Hoseok flails now but seems to have gathered his emotions, “Do you think Kihyun likes Hyunwoo?” He asked his boyfriend who is watching him in amusement. “Yes.” Hyungwon answers quickly and matter of factly. “Do you think Hyunwoo likes Kihyun?” Hoseok asks next even though Hyunwoo makes an offended noise again. “Yes, they’re practically married.” Hyungwon replies just as quickly this time and leans against the bathroom door. “What are you talking about? Married! We’re friends!” Hyunwoo finds his voice finally and almost cowers under the disapproving looks coming from his two friends. “Right. Friends? I like Minhyuk and the rest of them but you’d never catch me up at 7am bringing them breakfast before class just because” Hyungwon replied calmly, “And unlike them you two know each other’s favorite colors, favorite foods, favorite clothing brands, favorite scents, favorite songs, favorite-“ Hyungwon was listing things quickly until Hyunwoo groaned loudly. He reached over to pull the shower door closed again. 

It was silent outside the shower now but he heard his two friends shuffling. “We’re uh going to go watch a movie.” Hoseok finally spoke up and he heard the bathroom door open then close. The shower squeaked off a second later and Hyunwoo grabbed a towel to dry off. At this rate he was going to have frown lines. 

—————————————————————

Kihyun was exhausted from classes. It didn’t help he’d stayed up late finishing an essay he forgot. Stretching out his sore limbs he finally packed all his things up in his bag and left the classroom. Waving goodbye to classmates Kihyun stepped outside in to the cool air and almost had a heart attack when someone put their hand on his shoulder. With a hiss he jumped away and rubbed at his chest will glaring. It took a second to realize Hyunwoo was standing there smiling that damn eye smile at him. God this sucked Kihyun thought but he smiled back even as his heart hammered. “Hyunwoo! What are you doing here?” He asked while shifting his bag on his shoulder. 

As if on cue Hyunwoo took Kihyun’s bag from him and pulled it over his own shoulder. It looked natural because it was. Before Kihyun had confessed they did little things like that all the time without batting an eyelash. Now it just hurt. “I wanted to ask you if you’d come out with us tonight?” Hyunwoo replied casually as he began walking, “And I haven’t seen you in weeks.” He chuckled as he made the comment and Kihyun mirrored the sound. “Tonight? I don’t know.” He replied and almost bumped in to Hyunwoo who’d slowed down. “Come on Ki we haven’t hung out in awhile.” Hyunwoo pouted at him and Kihyun wondered if he knew the affect it had on him. He sighed and rubbed his temples before smiling at Hyunwoo, “Just for a little while okay? I have a lot of homework.” Hyunwoo grinned showing off his cute teeth and for a moment Kihyun felt happy. The two males walked comfortably in silence until their paths split up; waving goodbye eagerly as they headed to their dorms. 

—————————————————————

Kihyun regretted just about every right now. He had stupidly agreed to go out with the object of his affections as if it wouldn’t burn the whole time. Minhyuk had of course also agreed to come with his boyfriend Jooheon but that didn’t make it better. Kihyun sighed as he finished fluffing his orange hair. He wore a black silk shirt and black skinny jeans. His hair stood out against the color anyways. He should prepare for Halloween jokes. After brushing on a smidge of eyeliner he decided he had procrastinated enough and finally left his dorm. Hyungwon was with Hoseok so Kihyun took a cab by himself to the club. As soon as he stepped out he winced at all the people milling about outside but still forced his legs to take him inside. 

The place was packed. Kihyun sent a text off to Hyunwoo as he slowly managed to wade through all the bodies. It took him a moment to realize his pocket was vibrating with his phone and he noticed Hyunwoo had responded. Upon a quick glance he noted where Hyunwoo had explained where they lurked and finally spotted his group of friends clustered together. As soon as he got to them he was crushed in to a hug by Hoseok who was already clearly quite buzzed. After escaping the strong hug he was pulled against a familiar warm body and had to screech internally when Hyunwoo ruffled his hair. The tall male was also clearly quite buzzed which meant he had probably pregamed with Hoseok and Hyungwon. It took Kihyun a moment to spot Minhyuk our dancing with Changkyun and Jooheon. He could feel Hyunwoo fidgeting and knew the taller male wanted to dance. 

After a tug Hyunwoo leaned closer so Kihyun could speak to him, “Go dance! I’m going to get a drink.” He saw Hyunwoo look at him with hesitation but Kihyun pushed him gently. After a grin the taller male disappeared followed by Hoseok. Kihyun waded back to the bar with a sigh and spotted Hyungwon managing to squeeze in with Hoseok to dance. Kihyun sipped on his beer and watched his friends dance through songs. They had stopped to take shots and tried to get Kihyun to dance but he said he was too tired. Hyunwoo was too drunk to be disappointed and Kihyun wondered how bad that hangover was going to be. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. At some point Minhyuk and Jooheon had joined him at the bar. They were being grossly affectionate so Kihyun pulled out his phone. He had been in the middle of texting a few classmates about a group project when Hyunwoo appeared by him. Kihyun glanced at the taller male and noticed his eyebrows were furrowed. “Who are you texting?” Hyunwoo asked abruptly and Kihyun blinked like an owl for a moment. There was less people around him so luckily he could hear Hyunwoo clearly. “Some classmates.” He replied slowly in confusion. This was the first time Hyunwoo had ever asked such a thing and he sounded almost agitated. “Are you texting Jackson?” Hyunwoo asked next and that made Kihyun raise an eyebrow at him. “Well yes? He’s in my Economics class and we’re-“ He had begun explaining before Hyunwoo had cut him off. “Seriously? You didn’t even wait did you?” Hyunwoo definitely looked agitated and his blushed cheeks told Kihyun the alcohol probably wasn’t helping. 

“Huh?” He asked dumbfounded. Wait for what? Their project was due in a week. He saw Minhyuk lean back slightly to look at them in concern now but Kihyun waved him off. “You confess to me but you’re already going on dates with other guys” Hyunwoo said while running a hand angrily through his hair, “Were you even sincere? Was I just convenient for you?” He spit out the sentence in anger, “Did you confess to Jackson too?!” Kihyun stared at Hyunwoo. He stared and felt the world around them fade away. The pain in his chest from the accusations felt like knives tearing at him. His eyes burned with tears now and all the frustration from the last few weeks had boiled over. So he did the least Kihyun thing imaginable. He slapped Hyunwoo. 

It felt like a record screeched to a stop when he did it. Hyunwoo looked startled and had slowly raised a hand to his stinging cheek. Kihyun grit his teeth to not cry in public while letting his anger out, “Are you fucking kidding me?!” He yelled at the still startled male, “Wow! Thanks for breaking my heart twice you stupid jerk.” He hissed the words out as the tears finally escaped. Hyunwoo needed a second for his alcohol confused brain to catch up and Kihyun started moving away from him now. Kihyun now was startled as a hand grabbed his wrist and Hyunwoo looked alarmed, “Wait-“ the taller male began speaking but Kihyun yanked his arm free. “Go fuck yourself.” He said it plainly and turned swiftly on his heel. He heard a commotion behind him as Minhyuk and Jooheon grabbed Hyunwoo to hold him in place. Kihyun would have to thank them later wouldn’t he? 

He escaped the club in to the cool night air. Hailing a taxi quickly he threw himself in the backseat right as Hyunwoo managed to get out of the building followed by their friends. Kihyun pointedly ignored them all as he slammed the taxi door while saying ah address. Hyunwoo appeared by the curb but the vehicle took off before he could grab the door handle. Kihyun made a mental note to tip the driver well. 

—————————————————————

The rest of the night was a blur. At some point Hyungwon had surprisingly came back to their dorm instead of crashing with Hoseok. Kihyun heard the door open and close. The quickest shower ever followed and a moment later Hyungwon quietly climbed in to Kihyun’s bed. It was silent for a moment before the taller male wrapped himself around Kihyun without saying anything. And if Kihyun cried when he did it Hyungwon was kind enough to not comment on it. 

The morning made Kihyun groan and he had to untangle himself from Hyungwon who was still sleeping like a damn log. But Kihyun decided against waking him up and simply escaped in to the bathroom to shower. He pulled on an oversized sweater and a random pair of jeans. He barely glanced at his reflection after brushing his hair lazily. He didn’t care what he looked like at the moment. His eyes were sore from crying half the night and he barely had energy to grab his bag. There was still some time before his first class so he figured he’d get a coffee somewhere to recharge. He opened their dorm room door to sneak out and abruptly tripped over someone. He squeaked as he hit the carpeted hallway with a loud oof escaping him. Did some drunk person fall asleep in the damn hall?! Kihyun groaned from the impact and felt hands grab at him. 

He tried swatting at them until he was pulled against a warm chest. He knew his eyes were wide as saucers and if it wasn’t for the familiar smell of a cologne he’d have screeched for Hyungwon. His body was completely tense as Hyunwoo hugged him so tightly he couldn’t wiggle free. The taller male pressed his head hard in to the side of Kihyun’s neck. “Let me go-“ Kihyun hissed out but felt his words die in his throat at the trembling coming from Hyunwoo. Warmth from tears was the next sensation he felt and his body slowly lost the tension in it. “Ki.” Hyunwoo’s voice was scratchy and devastated sounding. It was weird coming from Hyunwoo. He’d never heard him call out for him like that. “Please” Hyunwoo’s scratchy voice spoke again, “Please I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Kihyun felt his will to be pissed off leaving his body. He sighed and finally raised a hand to pat Hyunwoo’s back. “I’m not angry anymore it’s okay.” He muttered to the trembling male. “It’s not okay!” Hyunwoo cried in to his neck and Kihyun had to focus on not crying with him. 

“Let’s-let’s go inside alright?” Kihyun offered next as he really wanted to get out of the hallway before someone walked up on them. He was surprised Hyunwoo was coherent enough to stand up with him and could only make a strangled sound as the taller male pulled him back in to his own room. The door shut behind Kihyun and he was trapped against it by Hyunwoo hugging him as if he’d disappear any second. He prayed Hyungwon stayed asleep through whatever the hell was happening. “I’m not mad anymore okay? Hyunwoo I’m not mad.” His voice was slightly muffled but he still patted at the taller male. “I like you.” Hyunwoo’s voice was trembling from his own pain and Kihyun froze again. “Wha-what?” He managed to whisper out. “I like you! And I freaked out when you told me how you felt!” Hyunwoo kept going, “You’re my best-best friend I can’t lose you but I-“ The taller male swallowed, “I like you so much.”

Kihyun felt tears finally escape his already sore eyes. Hyunwoo still clung to him and his brain swam with a thousand different feelings. “Please like me back please don’t-don’t stop liking me.” Hyunwoo whispered against Kihyun’s neck and he found himself swallowing audibly. “You-you dumb bear.” Kihyun hated that his voice wobbled when he spoke and Hyunwoo’s tear stained, confused face appeared in his vision. “How-how can I not like you?” Kihyun spoke again with shaky exhales escaping him. “Don’t-don’t do that shit again okay? I forgive you this time but don’t-“ Kihyun began babbling but was abruptly cut off by warm lips crashing in to his own. He was startled but felt his eyes immediately close at the warmth before his lips kissed back. The world felt like it finally was alright again. All the pain and anxiety in Kihyun’s chest melted away. It was refreshing to be honest. 

After what felt like an eternity Hyunwoo pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against Kihyun’s. “Date me.” Hyunwoo whispered to him and he knew his face was probably as red as a tomato. “Okay.” Kihyun whispered back and couldn’t contain the smile at Hyunwoo’s grin. They stayed like that until a pillow smacked in to Hyunwoo’s back. Confused the taller male stepped back enough for them both to look behind him. Hyungwon was sitting up in bed scowling at them, “Great you made up now get out I’m trying to sleep!” He glared daggers at them before falling back on to the mattress and yanking the blanket over his head. The two of them stared before laughing. Which was interrupted by Hyungwon sitting up again and them having to run out of the room quickly. They both grinned at each other while still laughing. Hyunwoo reached out to brush his thumb on Kihyun’s cheek. “Can we go on a date?” The taller male asked and Kihyun snorted loudly. 

“You can go shower and I’m going to class.” Kihyun put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes at Hyunwoo’s sudden pout. He could sense the taller male about to whine now so he quickly spoke again, “And after class we can go have lunch together.” He said it casually but smiled through it. Hyunwoo grinned at him again his eyes becoming crescents as he pulled Kihyun in to a hug. “Okay Ki, my pretty Ki, whatever you want.” 

Kihyun could get used to this.


End file.
